Men and women cheat on their partners for different reasons. Men tend to cheat because they want more physical stimulation, while women generally have more psychological and emotional motives for cheating.

Chief among these reasons is loneliness. Women often look to relationships with individuals other than their partners because emotional companionship is lacking in the primary relationship. It may appear to be a contradiction that women who have partners are lonely, but often, this partnership is less than emotionally fulfilling. Women may have affairs if they feel they do not receive the attention they deserve from their partners. If a man is too involved with his work or a hobby, he may have little energy left to pay attention to the woman in his life. Women often feel lonely even in the presence of their partners at times. A man may be physically present, but emotionally absent, and this can lead a woman to look for fulfillment outside the relationship.

Boredom may cause a woman to look for love outside her primary relationship. As time goes by, relationships may become routine and lose the excitement of their first days. Instead of trying to remedy the current relationship, women may try to inject excitement into their lives by having affairs. Affairs are exciting, both because they involve sex with a new person, and because they involve a considerable amount of ‘sneaking around,’ hiding things from friends and family, essentially living a second life. For some women, the excitement is so attractive that they are willing to lose their primary relationship in order to pursue an affair.

Revenge is another reason that women cheat on their partners. Women of today are not willing to suffer in silence as their counterparts did in previous generations. If a woman feels wronged, if she has an indication that her partner is cheating on her, she will often have an outside affair to retaliate for the pain she is feeling. Women who find their partners have been cheating on them feel completely justified in having an affair for reasons of revenge. They view an affair as way to make their partners hurt in the same way that they do.

Low self-esteem can also be a reason for women to cheat. They may feel unattractive and unwanted in their current relationship, even if this is not the case. Partners may not make the same efforts at reassurance that were common in the early days of a relationship, and women’s own feelings of inadequacy can make them look for affirmation from new people that they are still desirable. Having an affair with a new partner who finds her attractive and interesting may be compensation for the low self-esteem that characterizes a woman’s everyday life. Women who have healthy opinions of themselves and are self-confident are usually happy in their relationships, while those with low self-esteem tend to look outside their relationships for affirmation and end up cheating on their partners.

Infidelity and extramarital affairs are rife.

TV shows come and go. “Desperate Housewives” being all the rage for a time. Oprah even raved about it, as many women swoon at the male stars. However now the men shake their heads in disbelief at the infidelity and other goings on….

But….

Is it all a sign of the times. Remember “Sex in the City”?

Women being more emancipated, have more freedom, and more resources than anytime in the past. So what does all that mean. Well for one thing, they are now more prepared to publically show their frustrations. They don’t just accept that the man is out there doing his thing – which does not always consist of just going out to work to bring in the bacon. Men having always had the freedom to roam, have taken this to the extreme. They have often left behind trailsof broken hearts and shattered families in their wake.

Now though, women are starting to get on the bandwagon.

Sexual emancipation is now no longer gender related. Both sexes are now equal. Infidelity is on the increase. Recent statistics suggest that up to 40% of women and at least 60% of men, have had outside relationship affairs at some time in their life. In studies performed recently, couple therapists however reported a 50% increase in female infidelity! The possiblity thus exists that someone close to is, was, or will be cheating on their partner!

OK, so the women are fighting back – but most men have no clue that their wives are having an affair. Most men find out the day their wife asks for a divorce.

This is a life shattering experience, (trust me I know).

Very few women become overnight cheaters though. The signs may have been there all along. There are usually stages of development, to the state of infidelity. Often, both partners contribute to these stages. Warning signs that not all is right, actually appear long before the actual physical act of infidelity. Usually most partners, don’t spot them until its too late though.

Why do they do it?

Knowing the why, could be great help in protecting yourself from being at the wrong end of an adulterous relationship. Here are some reasons, which you may or may not understand. Just be aware that they can apply to men and women nowadays.

Trophy hunters. Am I attractive, powerful, rich (insert your own attribute) ..enough to get that person to have sex with me?

Lack of a truly intimate relationship. This may be either real or perceived. Some couples just don’t have matching sex drives, leading to problems.

Revenge. As silly as it sounds, this is a huge reason for infidelity. He or she did this to me, so I will get back at them by having an affair as well. Totally illogical in your mind, but not in theirs.

Addictive behaviour, sexual tendencies, confusion or trauma.

Low self esteem. Am I really good enough. If someone is willing to have sex with me, that proves that I’m OK

Lack of love in the relationship. A feeling of not being cared for, lets the partner look for this missing feeling outside the relationship. This then often leads to sex.

Boredom………..etc.

So what are the signs?

Well if you are in a loveless relationship, you by probably already know that the potential for problems exist. There may of course be other signs as well.

A sudden interest to work more overtime, is a red flag.
Spending less time at home.
Receiving phone calls at strange hours and then not sharing the callers identity, are all suspicious.
Etc etc.

Those are the obvious ones. Now you can play detective and look at everything with a suspicious mind. But who wants to live that way though?

Intelligent and commited partners, stay tuned into the relationship. They are aware of the pulse of how both feel about each other. All too often, relationships are just left to drag on, and eventually dies,even though the partners are still physically present.

Remember to get the passion back in your life, by not letting this happen to you. Love is something too precious to just ignore.